Because Shepard was still managing all of his day-to-day responsibilities, he felt like he had everything under control. Then, Padman confronted him and he started lying to her.
“And I hate it,” he said. “And I’m lying to other people. And I know I have to quit. But my tolerance is going up so quickly that I’m now in a situation where I’m taking, you know, eight 30s a day, and I know that’s an amount that’s going to result in a pretty bad withdrawal. And I start getting really scared, and I’m starting to feel really lonely. And I just have this enormous secret.”
Shepard knew he had to tell her the truth. So, he brought Padman and his wife Kristen Bell together a few weeks ago and told them everything. He proceeded to attend meetings, get support from friends, and experience withdrawal symptoms.
“I’m sweating bullets; I’m jerky; my back kills. It’s terrible,” he said. “I’ve never detoxed from opiates, and I have so much compassion for these junkies who have, like, f–king cycled through this 20-30 times.”
Shepard had celebrated 16 years of sobriety at the beginning of September. During the “Day 7” episode, he recalled being high at the meeting where everyone was congratulating him on the major milestone. He called it the “worst hour” of his life.